Losing a loved one while grappling with sensitive and complex issues can be overwhelming and disorienting, often leading to intense emotional turmoil.
Recently, a man shared on Reddit a similar struggle: he refused to give his deceased partner’s family the house they had purchased together, sparking a heated debate about grief, property rights, and moral obligations.
He wrote:
“My boyfriend (30M, RIP) and I (33M) were together for 15 years. We met in high school and stayed together until a few months ago, when he passed away due to bone cancer.
I live in a traditional country. His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, so my family took him in, helped him finish high school, and supported him as much as they could.
After graduating, he worked hard and made good money. He saved enough to purchase a house 10 years ago and was paying the mortgage by himself. Four years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. He reduced his working hours to focus on his health, and I stepped in to pay the mortgage.”
He went on explaining:
“It was a hard battle, but cancer took him in March. After he died, his family suddenly reappeared, expressing regret for not being in his life. As time passed, a month ago, they reached out to me asking when they could expect me to hand over the keys to the house.
I told them they can’t have the house, because it is now in my name. I bought the house from my boyfriend a year after his cancer diagnosis, so it is legally mine, and I had been paying the mortgage long before that. They got upset and said I was being unreasonable, arguing that it should legally belong to them, and that my boyfriend would have wanted them to have the house.”
He added:
“After some thought, I told them, ’You can only have the house under one condition: you would have to ’buy’ it from me by reimbursing me for the four years of mortgage payments and take on the remaining debt.’ They said they didn’t have the money and accused me of being selfish. They proposed transferring the debt to their name without compensating me, but I declined. They got angry, and the discussion escalated to the point where they threatened to take me to court, accusing me of scamming my boyfriend to get the house.
They have been calling and texting me non-stop for the past month, threatening me. I know they can’t afford to pay me back for all the money I’ve invested in the house, but I’m conflicted. Some friends have advised me to give them the house and move on with my life, but it just doesn’t feel right to me. I’m leaning towards not giving them the house. I don’t need it, to be honest, but I don’t want to give it to them either.
Am I wrong for refusing to hand over the house?”