Sean, 36, wrote to us. His letter is full of despair and emotion. In fact, he destroyed his family’s happiness when he ch:e:ated on his wife. Over time, she seemed to forgive him, but the reality was much worse.
Sean had a short-term aff:air and confessed about this to his wife.
My wife Rosa and I have been happily married for 15 years now. We’ve been through many life situations together, and we’ve always found the way out together. We’ve been more than spouses all this time, we’ve been kindred spirits and our marriage has been based upon trust and mutual understanding. We never lied to each other and never chea:t:ed. But recently, things took an opposite turn and our family is now falling apart with a speed of light.
I know I did something really awful and disgusting, I chea:t:ed on my wife with a client of mine. I don’t really know why I did all this, my body felt like it was on autopilot, and after a short time I couldn’t take the guilt anymore. I immediately cut off my affa:ir partner. I ended my relationship with her as a client, too, and passed her contract to a coworker. I have had no contact with her ever since. I also confessed about this to my wife, and I’ve been doing individual therapy since then, too.
Sean expected a very emotional reaction from his wife and was partly prepared for it.
At first, my wife got really upset and depressed, she was absolutely angry. I was seriously worried about her mental state. I did expect some big drama, but I’ve never seen her so depressed before. I begged her not to divorce me.
I proposed some counseling, therapy, and even allowing her to have relationships with other men, but she wasn’t interested. She just asked me to leave her alone and give her more time to cope with the pain on her own. She insisted that I must move out and wait until she calls me with her suggestions about our future life together.
I picked my things and left to live at my parents’. I called her every day, and she sounded broken and frustrated, I could hear it in her voice that she was totally hurt, and I could understand this. She refused any help from me and only kept telling me that she needed more space, which I allowed her to have.
One day, the behavior of Sean’s wife totally changed.
3 weeks after I confessed to her about my infid:e:lity, my wife suddenly started behaving in a very strange way. She called me and asked me to take my things and move back into our house, which I happily did. She said she wanted to try to work us out, and she instantly jumped in, being the best wife a man can ask for.
She cooked my favorite dishes, left me loving notes, and bought herself new clothes to look even more attractive to me. Her reactions were lukewarm at best. She smiled and thanked me, and she kept telling me how she loved me more than anything. She barely initiated a talk about what had happened between us, and I didn’t bring it up either. I was sho:cked about this change, but I thought she was just a strong and reasonable woman, and I believed that she decided not to let a short-term affair spoil our marriage.
I didn’t find my wife’s behavior suspicious at all, but there was one thing that I couldn’t understand, and she would never explain it to me. I found out that she started visiting a doctor, a gynecologist, and she did it too often, like, it wasn’t a regular checkup or something. I mean, she had appointments with the doctor almost every week, and these visits started shortly after I confessed to her about ch_eating.
Sean was worried about his wife’s health and he confronted her about her frequent appointments with a doctor.
I was thinking of some serious health problems that my wife might have had, and these visits didn’t let me sleep peacefully at night. She did have some issues with her reproductive system, and this is why we didn’t have any kids. Or so I thought.
When I finally confronted my wife about her health and her visits to the gynecologist, she smiled and then announced to me that she didn’t have any health problems at all. She said that she was visiting the doctor because she consulted about her pregnancy. I was dumbfounded, then I felt so happy that we would have a baby.
But then my spouse dropped a bombshell on me. She confessed that this baby wasn’t mine. She said she had been having an affair with another man, just like I did with another woman, and that she fell pregnant from him. I could feel how all my life was turning upside down at that moment.
My wife said that everything that happened in our family was fair, and she believed that each of us got what we deserved. She suggested staying together, and she said I could adopt the baby if I had a wish to do so, explaining that she had no longer been in touch with the baby’s bio dad and saying that this man wouldn’t have been happy if he had found out she was pregnant.